Thursday, 31 October 2013

More Synchronicity ...

I subscribe to an email from the poet, Roger Housten, that I receive every two weeks or so and yesterday I received this one - such synchronicity  ...

Hi ,

Our culture is so fixated on the necessity of doing that if we are idle for a while we are very likely to have the thought that we are wasting our lives. But I don't think that's what Wright means in that shocking last line. I think he means the opposite - that doing nothing for a while is precisely a gateway to another life, one deeper and more alive than our usual busy-ness; and that we shall have wasted our lives if we never allow ourselves these spaces in which another kind of fulfillment emerges. He is lying in his hammock, and realizes how little time he has given to moments of blessedness like this. But what do you think he means?

Warmly, Roger

Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy's Farm in Pine Island Minnesota
James Wright
Over my head I see the bronze butterfly
asleep on the black trunk,
blowing like a leaf in green shadow.
Down in the ravine behind the empty house
the cowbells follow one another
into the distances of the afternoon.
To my right,
in a field of sunlight between two pines,
the droppings of last year's horses
blaze up into golden stones.
I lean back as the evening darkens and comes on.
A chicken hawk floats over, looking for home.
I have wasted my life.

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Thinner veil

Today was a really crap day for me.  I am tired and just totally overwhelmed at the moment, trying to catch up with life after a few days in hospital with my daughter.  I felt as though I was in a flooding river that was just racing along and I couldn't seem to find the slow side stream to just catch my breath.  It felt like the river was just gathering an ever increasing speed and heading towards a almighty waterfall, carrying me with it!! 

I actually just hated today really and even had my seven year old wrap me over the knuckles, as only she can do in her fiery Leo manner.  With tears of frustration and anger, she told me how I was suppose to be sitting down with her and helping her with her project and not be doing other things!!  Reality check!! 

Reflecting while preparing supper, I even thought about how much I hated this year (with my dad dying in June after his five month stint in hospital) and how it has been my worst year ever.  I also happened to tell that to my gorgeous new sister-in-law, forgetting how exciting this year has been for her as she married my brother-in-law in July and hosted us to a magnificent few days in Beirut for her wedding this year!!  Oops.

Then, that same beautiful daughter of mine, pointed outside to me after dinner and said, "look mom!"  While I had seen it, I had not really taken note of how beautiful the light outside was. The attempted storm had blown over, and in the early evening had left the most magnificent light!!  I stopped what I was doing right then and there, kicked off my shoes and went and sat outside on the soft green grass for a couple of minutes taking it all in and catching my breath in that slow side stream. 

Everything just looked and felt totally different and I too felt totally different - almost as if we were not quite part of this world.  The trees and grass had a different vibe and to me, for those few minutes, it felt as if the veil between our world and another world was thinner and I could just feel a bit of the magic ...

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

A Little Bit of Pasci Bizarre ...

Our circle group had the most magical morning today as we played with our creativity.  

Anne (check out her blog, who led the group this morning, had an envelope for each one of us to choose and in it was a piece of paper with a face that she had created, on it, some quotes, a torn out page from a French book, and beautiful tissue paper.  Then with a bit of guidance and examples   we were left unto our own creative devices using the following exciting art materials ....

- acrylic and water colour paint,
- watercolour pencils and crayons,
- inks,
- puff paint,  
- gesso,
- mod podge (don't you just LURVE that name) glue,
- watercolour paper, 


The little girl in me was doing cartwheels and back flips and just loving every minute of it!!  Wow!!  I came out of that session feeling young, inspired, excited about life and quite liberated actually!! Of course yesterday I was slightly nervous of it as we do have some really creative, 'arty-farty' people in our group and I went through the "what-if-I-can't-do-it' stress.  I even had a dream about it; that I was the only one who didn't finish their piece of art!!  Wow - the underlying fears we all have!  

But we started out the morning with a magical 20 min video of Elizabeth Gilbert (who wrote "Eat Pray Love.") all about showing up and the creative genius.  It is really worth watching.  Here is a link to it,  After that, and with Anne's gentle encouragement, we were really inspired to just play and there was magic all around!

Anyway, here is my gorgeous piece of work - I just love my creative genie - she's magical and definitely rings of Pasci Bizarre!!

The quote at the bottom which you can't see in the photo is, "The moment in between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place, " Barbara De Angelis.

Anne - thank you for the most magical morning.  You are so inspiring. Mwah!!

Friday, 25 October 2013

Synchronicity and Dejavu!

I find it quite ironic that last night I blogged about breathing and then today I had to admit my daughter to hospital because she was battling to breathe!!!  

This only happened once before in July and she came right but today was different - she was really unhappy and our homeopath was away! The GP's advice was to admit her to hospital to get some her some oxygen, be nebulised and be treated.  So we did and i found myself brewing with anger as all the memories of my dad being in hospital came flooding back.   My breathing must have been really shallow!!

Apparently, anger is 'better' than fear as it is higher up on the map of consciousness!  My dear friends prompted me to look deeper into my anger, which i did and it all came out in a powerful text message while waiting for the doctor (dejavu) and I realised that it stemmed from my memories of when my dad was in hospital; from being in a place in which I felt deeply uncomfortable, disempowered, disconnected, helpless, not fully trusting of and having to go with radical choices, because we had no real other choice. We were sucked deeper and deeper into disempowerment and helplessness and left reeling in the end.  While the two scenarios are different, the setting is the same ... Waiting hours for doctors; having to sterilize your hands all the time; drips at 70ml an hour; nurses talking loudly; nurses waking you every two hours for medication and nebulisation; x-rays; waiting for test results; lights on all the time ; telephones ringing ... It just does not feel like a place of  calm and healing to me; a place of breathing deeply and allowing the body's powerful healing wisdom to kick in.  Amazing, just that one text message where I voiced my anger and cried it out and breathed a little deeper, a big hug from my hubby and other daughter and I felt calmer and more empowered again. 

So we created a little sanctuary behind our blue curtain with a lavender candle, some rose quartz, and calm healing music - all which allowed us to breathe more deeply and feel more calm and connected!! 

Thursday, 24 October 2013

Breathe ...

"When your heart is heavy, when you want to feel alive ... breathe" says Danielle La Porte.

Through simple synchronicity, I have been reading a lot about breathing from various sources over the last few weeks, and so I thought I would share some of that with you.

Being a personal growth facilitator and a life coach, I am drawn to anything that involves leading a life filled with joy, authenticity, truth, openness and connectness.  So therefore, many of the books and articles I read are along those lines, firstly because I love reading them, and secondly because I love sharing what I have loved about them.  And so, one of the books I am currently reading is by Sonia Choquette, "The Answer Is Simple ... Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit"   In it, she talks about how by connecting more with your spirit, you begin to hear life's song more deeply; you'll be more capable of listening to and actually absorbing messages from others and the world around you. ...And with this new found quiet, your attention will be drawn to the sound, feeling and vibration of your inner voice.  You'll begin to hear your guidance."  

She then goes on to say that by breathing deeply, you claim your spirit and bring it into every cell of your body." She explains how when we get entangled in a drama (coming from the ego self) we stop breathing deeply and sometimes even hold our breath.  What happens then is that the body does not get enough oxygen and then goes more deeply into fear and anxiety, creating a viscous cycle of self-debilitating negativity.   

Haven't you been told, in the midst of your anger, fear, anxiety ... "breathe - just breathe?!" Intrinsically, we know what to do.  I know for sure that we have all felt, at some stage in our lives, such deep pain and anguish, that breathing even becomes painful.  My mom, after having lost my dad this year and being together with him for almost 50 years, went to the doctor the other day, complaining of constant, uncomfortable, deep burping.  The doctor explained to her that with all the stress, fear, anxiety and pain around my dad's death, she was actually gulping air (unconsciously - obviously in her pain, her breathing must be really shallow and at times she is not breathing and so her body is needing the oxygen and she gulps the air around her) and this was causing her discomfort and the constant need to burp!! Mind-blowing!!  

Sonia Choquette concludes this part by saying "to love your Spirit - to live your Spirit - you must breathe,"  and she gives a number of exercises to do some beautiful breathing.

Thinking about it, many meditation techniques focus on the breath and most visualization and visioning exercises require you to get into a relaxed state, which involves deep breathing.  So in actual fact, we are really connecting with our Spirit.

In one of the chapters in the Firestarter Sessions that a group of us is working through, Danielle LaPorte talks about transforming pain into something beautiful and she describes the beautiful Buddhist meditation technique of Tonglen, which is Tibetan for "sending and taking" and is about overcoming fear and suffering. 

She sums it up as "Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us.  Breathe in suffering - yours, others, the world's.  Breathe out compassion - for yourself, for others, for the world."  

How magnificent is that?!! 

She describes in more detail how to Tonglen and then ends off by saying, "Now do it for other people's suffering. Please.  For that homeless man on the street, in winter.  Cold and demoralized   Inhale his agony.  Exhale comfort and transformation.  The jobless folks with families to feed.  Cancer patients fighting to live. People gone mad. Soldiers who kill and the families they destroy.  Take in the wreckage. turn it into light and give back compassion and tenderness."

"When your heart is heavy, when you want to feel alive ... breathe." 

I LOVE it!!

Monday, 14 October 2013

Some West Coast Beauty

I just love the sheer ruggedness and natural beauty of this magnificent, relatively isolated piece of coastline.  A feast for the eyes and the soul!