Our Homeschooling Journey

Last week I was invited to share a bit about our homeschooling journey with some of the new homeschooling parents and I put this together. I have had a couple of Mom’s approach me to say that it has been very helpful and encouraging and so I thought I would share it here along with some of my fav photos of some of our local trips and homeschooling moments. 

Here are some pointers which I feel would have been really useful for me when we started out in 2016.
The reasons we started homeschooling were multi fold, but mainly we wanted some real quality time with our kids. I felt that we were racing down someone else’s highway, following their norms and values, trying to keep up with it all and it was just not where we wanted to be. I also clearly remember chatting to a mom who’s daughter was head of sports at her school. The mom was telling me, with such pride, that her daughter had been so busy that day that she did not have time to eat her lunch. I still remember how uncomfortable I felt about that; it felt wrong that we were encouraging our kids (and adults) to be so busy and that that was the new norm. I did not want to go any further down that highway. There was so little delight in what we were doing. I wanted us to slow down, catch our breath and carve our own road with what felt more important and joyful to us. Mary Oliver’s line “Tell me what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” from her poem the ‘The Summer Day’ was ringing in my ears. We had also lost a couple of family members and friends in the previous years and I wanted something more from what we were doing with our lives.

When we first started, Tessa, my oldest was in grade 7 and her friends who were still at school were being piled with assignments, projects and tests. They were in complete
overwhelm and didn’t even have the time to get together. In spite of my reasons for homeschooling, it did initially make me panic as I was worried
that we were not doing enough work and that were in danger of falling behind!!! (Yes, it did feel dangerous to me.)
A friend of ours came to tea and I was telling him about this and he said, “Surely it’s about quality and not quantity.” The penny dropped! Another homeschooling mom also questioned me with “falling behind who? They are in primary school for goodness sake.” I remember her saying, “I am ‘behind’ my husband because I don’t know how to do his job, but he is ‘behind’ me, because he doesn’t have experience in what I do. So actually we are all ‘behind’ one another in so many things!” So that got me thinking and I decided that I would make sure that we kept up with our Maths, English and second language which was Afrikaans, in case they wanted to go back to main stream school. For the rest, we would see what appealed and felt interesting and joyful to us. I have to say though that this didn’t happen over night. It was a journey for all of us, slowly letting go of “should be” and immersing into what we enjoyed.
I also realised that my two children had very different learning styles and interests and what worked for the one did not suit the other. For example, Lauren, my youngest really did not enjoy the Cambridge English. It was too dry for her. Her whole body language changed when we started English each day and it felt like I was trying to draw blood from a stone! There was no ease in it. We switched to the ‘Good and the Beautiful’ program and her whole being came alive and she would ask to start the day with English. So don’t be hesitant to change curriculums and do different things with your kids. Each child is different, has different needs and learning should be joyful as much as possible.

So especially in the primary school years, I strongly encourage learning that is enjoyable, fun, stimulating and that does not involve pressure to perform, ie following a set curriculum
with tests and assignments. In my opinion and experience, it is not necessary. It sucks all the joy out of learning and induces so much unnecessary stress.

In addition to English, Maths and Afrikaans, we absolutely loved the “Footprints On Our Land” curriculum. We read all the stories (that made history come alive) and did road trips to some of those places (we have family in the Cape so that made it easier) and to this day that’s what we often talk about. The road trips (and other trips), what we learned along the way, the places we visited and the people we met. In fact, we met a woman in Prince Albert, who we did a ghost tour with, and both my girls ended up doing a year long creative writing course with her that they absolutely loved.

If I had to do it over again I would have started homeschooling sooner and done more of those trips even if it was short camping weekends in the Berg, the bush, etc. I have wonderful photographs of my hubby and my girls in their pj’s on the lounge floor, pouring over contour maps of the berg planning their hikes. There is so much real teaching just in that. Nature is phenomenal and offers so much more exciting learning than any textbook ever will! I remember a friend giving us a whole lesson on the life cycle of a dragon fly while swimming in a river in the Berg. That same friend took us to see the turtles hatching up near Bhanga Nek. Those memories and teachings are priceless and will stay with us forever.

So have fun along the way. Make it interesting for all of you. Plan trips and visits with your kids. Take a sketch book and pencils and go and sit with them in the hide in Mkuze, see what comes along and learn what you can from what arrives that day. The forest and boardwalk in Eshowe is magnificent, as is the Harold Johnson Nature reserve. The fish and sea life in the Chaka’s Rock tidal pool near Salt Cafe are beautiful to see and learn from. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Pack a picnic and go and explore. It’s all right here at our finger tips and these are the things we remember the most.
There are also so many amazing resources out there, but that said, in hindsight I would buy less of those resources. You really don’t need that much, especially when your kids are little. They learn so much through free play, art and nature. So bake, cook, allow them to have more free-play, play more games with them, go for walks, explore and have fun. I cannot recommend that enough.

The beauty with homeschooling too is that you can go at the pace that suits your child. You don’t have to stay within the confines and limits of the grade they are supposed to be in. Lauren started early with Singapore Maths and ended up doing grade eight work in grade seven. Not that you want to strive to do that as that puts pressure on your child. It just unfolded naturally. In her grade seven year, she also joined a small group that went to Tessa’s tutor once a week and Lauren absolutely loved her teaching style. She has so many amazing resources and so learning was fun and interesting for them and there was no waiting desperately for break to come around. They covered all kinds of things and Lauren told me last year that they had even covered something that is done in grade 9 science but it had come up completely naturally as they were delving into one of the topics. Isn’t that how learning should unfold, through exploration and interest?
What we didn’t do enough of though was get together with other homeschooling families. That said, we did travel a lot and there were also very few kids at the time we started homeschooling who were Tessa’s age, but that is not the case now and it is so supportive to hang out with parents and kids who are on this journey. There is so much to be said of community support, so reach out.

After 4 years at home, Lauren my youngest decided to go back to main stream school for high school. She loves hanging out with people all the time and she felt she wanted to go back and engage with friends all day! Break with mom no longer cut it. When we applied to the school we thought would most suit her, she had no reports of performance for four years and had never written an exam. The vice principal (and head of academics) was very concerned. I showed her our textbooks for Maths and English and a list of what we had done and worked with each year. She was impressed as she had assumed that we had done nothing. Lauren wrote their admission exams and she was offered a place and started in 2020. Sadly that is the year Covid hit us, so she did not really experience what she was looking for. However, despite never having done formal projects, tests and exams, she excelled last year. She was completely self driven and motivated and I had to remind her often that she is not defined by a test result. We were very proud of her efforts and motivation.
So how has she found school? She loves being with lots of kids her age (during term one and four when she was at school) but she does not enjoy the long hours and nor does she see the point of homework, let alone tests and exams. In fact, she found homework a complete waste of time and was quite annoyed that she still had homework to do “after having been at school for so many hours!” At the end of the year, she lost motivation after endless hours of revision for exams. She was so bored. That is what I am saying about sucking the joy out of learning, so in the early years, when they don’t need it, why do it?

Tessa, on the other has decided to continue with homeschooling. She loves the freedom it offers her, allowing her to work independently with her tutor and she sets her own time and pace. It’s right up her alley.

She wrote her first IGCSE exam in Nov 2019 (also after not having written exams for a four years) and she did extremely well. Covid unfortunately messed up her June 2020 exams but luckily a plan was made and then she really excelled in the Nov 2020 exams. Again, the motivation came from her. She is doing her A levels now in subjects that she absolutely loves. From my own experience in education and our homeschooling journey, I have realised the benefit of studying and delving into that which brings you joy because you are naturally drawn to it and so then the learning comes easier and flows better. I am always inspired by the quote by Howard Thurman, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive.”

So I hope that our story will help those of you who are just starting out on your homeschooling journey. It is an amazing journey, and like everything in life, has its pro’s and cons. Remember, there is no right or wrong, but only what is right for you and your family. Most importantly, have fun and enjoy the ride.

 

Labyrinth Gifts

I have had a few reminders of labyrinths in the last few days, the latest one during my morning meditation today, so I thought I would be brave and share a bit.  

But before, very briefly, the concept of a labyrinth dates back to about 2500 BC and is supposed to represent the shape of mother nature with the single access place reflecting the umbilical cord; giving birth to our soul. Unlike a maze where you can get lost and come to many a dead end, a labyrinth follows a pattern and so in removing choices in the path walked, the pattern allows for deep contemplation and opens up its walkers to their Divine inner wisdom.  

One of my most loved and sacred spaces that I was blessed enough to visit on numerous occasions, was the majestic labyrinth at Boondocks, near Barberton in Mpumalanga.  I went down a bit of a memory lane today with some melancholy and sadness as I would really love to visit and walk that labyrinth again.  It has an energy all of its own.  It is based on the classic medieval labyrinth in Charles Cathedral in France, which was built in 1204.  I have not been to the one in France and would one day really love to visit it.  I wonder if it will have the same effect on me as the one in Mpumalanga.  As I said, this labyrinth created by Stuart Jenson, who sadly passed away in 2016, is simply magical.  It lies under a magnificent canopy of trees, along a little stream and is frequented by exquisite forest birds and creatures and it also rests upon powerful ancient rocks which date back 3.5-billion years.  Stuart built it around the trees and as a result, the path is adapted, hence every now and again there is a beautiful bend that wasn’t in the original and a curve cradles a tree, allowing it to remain. This sacred space has helped me discover numerous insights and process many emotions in unique ways.  Some times I felt heavy and weighed down and at other times, I skipped and danced my whole way through the labyrinth, light as a feather.  I’ve walked it slowly and lain in the centre for what feels like hours, I’ve walked it alone, with close friends and with other retreaters.  Every time it has offered gifts, big and small.  Once, I could even smell the presence of my grandmother.  I was deeply moved.  Different areas seem to invite different reflections. It feels like the Divine is having a conversation with you through the labyrinth and all that surrounds it… the trees, the wind, the leaves, the birds, the stream, the stillness…  They all offer messages and reflections.  It is a deeply sacred space.

My whole family has been blessed to share in the majesty of this beautiful creation and I am very grateful for this.  It will always have a very special place in my heart.  Thank you Stuart, always for this gift.
The other message I received around labyrinths in the last few days is when I was pondering some of my patterning I have been working on for a long time and it still keeps cropping up in different ways.  I was feeling that I had surely dealt with this by now.  Then, I came across this paragraph in one of my readings from Angela Deutschmann (who introduced me to Boondocks, Ann Barr and Stuart Jenson.) It was perfect timing and I found it very comforting.   

“This is unquestionably your next step up. And it is also a next step up for a large group of people who have been steadily growing, steadily healing, steadily lifting out of shame and blame and victimhood.
There are natural steps along that road, you know. And you can’t rush them. And you can’t skip a few. Often the path, like a labyrinth, turns you back to where you think you’ve already been. Yes. The evolution of you is and will always be a mystery. You will never understand it completely. You are not meant to control it, or be in any way in charge of how and when and through what means your evolving occurs.  And you needn’t understand all of it or be in charge of your journey. There will always be unexpected events, both in your world and in yourself. And there will always be an invisible guiding hand underneath your path.”

I felt a deep sense of gratitude and it reminded me that being aware of our patterns is part of our unique journey of evolution.  

While the Boondocks labyrinth is no longer available for public visiting, I am finding huge joy, comfort, contemplation and Divine connection in the magnificent forests that surround us here on the North Coast.  They too, along with their charming creatures, convey beautiful messages of contemplation every time.  Even simply sitting in my garden in the morning sun and drinking a cup of tea invites these joyful moments. 

All we ever need to do is to is to face fully and tell the truth about where we are in each moment.

For Stuart's Memorial

A Reflective Read

I recently finished reading "Walking Home" by Sonia Choquette.

It the story of her 34 day walk of the ancient 800km pilgrimage path across Spain; the Camino de Santiago.  I love traveling; I love Spain; I love walking; I love the idea of the Camino and I really enjoyed one of Sonia Choquette's books and so for me this was a definite read! 

I thoroughly enjoyed the book and loved how she wrote it in a diary format. Being a spiritual teacher and intuitive guide, her book is not just about her grueling journey but also a deeply inward reflection of where she was at in her life and how she got there.  She reflects on a number of her personal relationships and her behaviour and role in them.  While reading this, it inspired me to look at some of my relationships, especially one I find particularly challenging and whose company I was in at the time. It was a wonderful exercise for me and helped me to reflect on where I was at in this particular relationship and why my buttons were being pushed and that they could only really be buttons because they were my issues.  I went on daily walks along the beach and felt like I was doing a tiny little Camino walk myself everyday. It was wonderful.

I also really liked the option she chose of having 2 back packs and only carrying the smaller one with the other one being transported for her to her accommodation each night.  Also her accommodation was slightly upmarket from the pilgrims' albergues that most people traditionally stay in.  Initially my thoughts were along the lines of 'is that not cheating or opting for the easy route?' However, when I really sat with it, I realised that we don't need to be martyrs and that just doing the Camino itself requires huge guts and determination and everyone must find their own journey and work with what suits them best.  I had to laugh when she spoke about bumping into a busload of tourists who walked little stretches of the Camino and then hopped onto the bus that whisked them off to the next little stretch. Now to me that feels like cheating, but to some of those on the bus, it is probably what they can realistically manage and if that works for them, who am I to judge.

The Camino is on my bucket list and I am hoping to do it when my girls are a bit older and I can get away for such a long stretch of time.

If the Camino is something that interests you, I would definitely recommend reading it and if you enjoy Sonia Choquette's work, then it is lovely to get to know her a bit better.

Indulging in an Artist's Date

Julia Cameron in her book "The Artist's Way" encourages us to have a regular (once a week if possible) artist's date with ourselves, where we do something that we love or go somewhere on a date with ourselves, be it browsing through some lovely shops or an art gallery, watching a movie, going for a walk on the beach, going to a coffee shop and having something yummy to eat, taking a half an hour out in the garden with a cup of tea and a magazine, going to the local bookstore ... whatever it is that fills your tank. So last week Thursday, the same day I discovered that enchanting bookstore in the 13th century church, I took an entire day to do just that, in the magical city of Maastricht.  Here are some of the delights I found ...

Maastricht here I come!

Amazing tea variety in a local tea shop

How beautiful

Mint leaves served in glasses to make your own mint tea 

Different flavoured hot chocolate lollies for your hot chocolate drink in a true chocolaterie

Douwe Egberts Coffee Shop

Traditional Limburg's Tarts

Cheese anyone?

Candles in the famous Basilica of Our Lady - my granny's favourite church

But ofcourse!

Love this light 

Love the name!

Sacred Bookstore

The passed week, I spent some wonderful time with my mom and my family in The Netherlands.  I also got to visit my most favorite city in the world, Maastricht.  I think it is a beautiful city with rich history and is the place that my dad grew up.  I've spent many a wonderful time in that city and have such fond memories of it.  It is also a magical place to shop with really trendy shops scattered down cobbled alleyways and historic buildings, so I set aside a whole day last Thursday to indulge. 

During my shopping spree, my cousin and I came across a beautiful old 13th century Dominican church that had been converted into a bookstore. It is the popular Dutch bookstore chain, Selexyz. I absolutely loved it!  What a great idea for a church that is no longer in use.  I really wished that my bookworm daughter and father had been with me to share in the beauty of it.

There was also a coffee shop in the church/bookstore and I love how the coffee table was shaped into a cross.  Very clever!

Messages for my bookworms

The Children's section

Open Hearts, Open Eyes, Love and Magic

One of the things I really enjoy about traveling is the interesting people you meet along the way. On our recent trip to Namibia, we were lucky enough to meet Koos Vervey, owner of Eupa Falls Camp.  What an amazing man and what an amazing story.  We were told about him by some fellow travelers when asking for some advice about our route, and I first spotted him, walking slowly around the camp, holding the hand of his little adopted grand-daughter. We got chatting and he asked us what line of work we (my hubby and I) were both in and I have to say that I was secretly thrilled that he was more interested in my women's circle groups than my hubby's flying. I am so used to everyone being fascinated with my husband's job, and Koos, being an ex-military man, I assumed would launch into a discussion about planes and what not.  So it was really refreshing and exciting for me when he asked me all about the groups.  When hearing about some of the community projects he is involved in, I understood why.  

I was particularly touched by the one project he is still involved in and he shared it with me over coffee one morning as the sun was rising over the falls.  Here is the story in Koos' own words 

FOLLOW UP ON NDJINA
My story about this lady starts more than 20 years ago when visiting chief Kapika at Omuramba. She was always kept away from visitors but from time to time one had a glimpse of this woman. As the years progressed and I became more familiar in the village I had a better view. Enquiries did not really bring clarity; vague answers were given and I knew all the time that something was not right.

But with time I could get closer and although I was told that she was bewitched I realized that it was not what it was. She was certainly not mad. One could not follow her words at all but through the filth I detected a spirit that was not mad. Even the chains and wire did not take away her inner self.

But i simply had no idea what was wrong and just left it alone. Do not mix with the deeper community things and especially not with the sister of the chief.

I knew that everybody in the village was afraid of her and that they all avoided her. I also knew that she was literally fed like a dog with a bit of food and water. In days of little she was the last one to get the scraps.

When my roads crossed with my old school mate of the seventies after 36 years I had no idea that freedom for Ndjina was not too far away. And when we went to visit chief Kapika in October 2012 I still could not envisage that drama was to come; that she would be freed and will be a real person again.

That Sunday the two of us did a lot of brain storming but none of us had any idea about what was to come. November came and we saw the chief. I was a bit worried but then he took the wind completely out of us. We could proceed. Berrie came back and 12 December 2102 he took the chains off. When Ndjina came out from behind the bush curtain and walked nearly straight I could not believe my eyes. The care takers dressed her. She was human again.

The last evening of 2012 saw the whole village gathered at Epupa Falls campsite for the yearly big party. One of the most dramatic moments of my life was minutes away. I took her onto the dance floor and for a few minutes that whole meeting came to their feet. Ndjina was reborn.

She is eating properly, sleeping on a mattress, doing walks with the care takers. Nobody runs away from m her any longer. Kaviruru is sleeping next to her. The children at the village are around her. Her own children are proud of her. The story has spread all over Kaoko. The spirit that I noticed all the time has come to life again.

To see this wonderful lady today is for us who know the background very special. She has status, she is a grand lady. Berrie is teaching his caretakers how to work with her.

Not too long ago I bumped into a famous sendeling who is in the area for many years. He knew about her but nothing else. After he heard the story he asked me what medicine we are giving her. LOVE AND PROPER CARE. THIS he could not believe.

And all the time we are learning. She is the first person out of the African bush with Alzheimer’s. The first in Africa. The first on my road. And i came to love this old woman. Through her so many more roads has opened for me; so much more deepness and richness in my life.

This lady in chains does not know what is happening; she has no idea what is too follow and for that matter none of us really know where the road of Ndjina will take us. But we know a few things.

She was very far from broken after 20 years in chains and now she is free. She has guts, tremendous inner energy to survive all this takes a very special person; maybe a replica of Uncle Nelson.

Her strength has and will enrich many people over the years to come.

Her image we pray will become the symbol for Africans with Alzheimer’s.

And she has given and will continue to give me a sense belonging; belonging to a very small minority of himba nomads.

Here's a little more from Koos' friend Berrie Holthauzen (who started the first Alzheimer's Home in Namibia) about the day Ndjina was set free ...


With the arrival of Koos we could finish setting up the tent. We could cut her chains, remove all the old straps and provided her a nice big bath. (I brought along about 100l of water in plastic drums). The three care workers (also trained by us) gave her a bath and new, clean materials to be used as a dress that I bought yesterday in a tin hut at Epupa for N$35 per meter. Four meters of fabric and 2 dresses – the most she’s ever had in the last 20 years. She even slept on the ground because the skin she use to sleep on got too dirty and should have been burned a long time ago.

FREE AT LAST, THANK God free at last…
clean and newly dressed after 20 years. 12/12/12  

12-12-12 has been one of the most beautiful days in my life even when I consider that I had a spade instead of my toilet, that I had to sleep on the backseat of my double cab truck, have to sit under a Mopani and type for dear life with a very quick fading battery, without any possibility of cell phone reception or a fridge with cold water or beer… I had the opportunity to see a person freed from chains. And I know that 12-12-12 only comes along every 100 years.

Doesn't this story just touch your heart?  

Koos also shared with us that at the staff party, Ndjina came up to him on the 'dance floor' and placed some of his favourite local berries into his shirt pocket.  It is moments like those he said, that bring magic to his life.  I also learned that along with Ndjina, they managed to free another woman, called Kaputu, from chains because of Alzheimers.  Apparently, through superstition and a lack of understanding, 'witch camps' and stoning of women with any form of dementia occur regularly in Nigeria, Ghana and Namibia.  It is so heartbreaking and such a tragedy, when as Koos said, all they need is "love and the same environment' in which they grew up in.  It really is just what the world needs, what we all need, "love."

This to me was all mind blowing, coming from an ex-military man and from a 'staunch right-wing upbringing' as he put it.  He spoke about 'opening your heart' and 'opening your eyes,' love and magic and so of course he was the hero of my trip to Namibia.  (Not that he needs to be a hero.) I love people's stories and the story of this man's journey in life and the meaning he has found in it, completely captivated me and so this blog post is dedicated to all the magical and loving work he has been doing in Namibia these many years.  It was an honor to meet you.

Thank you Koos

Here is a link to the Alzheimer's Home in Yacandonga if you would like to read more about it.

Epic Journey - Namibia

On Sunday, I arrived back from an amazing three week camping trip with my family in Namibia. The sheer vastness and magnificence of the landscape is quite something to behold and take in.  It completely envelopes you. 

We also met such interesting people along the way.  I really do enjoy that aspect of traveling very much.

Over the next while I will share some lovely insights and pictures into our trip.  In the meantime, here is my favourite camping spot of the trip.  It is our own magical little 'boskamp' (bush camp) out in the middle of nowhere.  It was full moon that night and the land stretched out for miles around us with not a soul in sight.  We chose the spot because of it's beautiful open fields (and we had been listening to an audio of "Little House on the Prairie" and here we were, camping out in a magnificent Namibian Prairie) with Giraffe, Gemsbok, Springbok and Zebra!

A Family Bush Retreat

Just recently my family and I spent five absolutely magical days at a friend's bush camp in the Timbavati.  It has been one of the best short break holidays I have ever had.  I really, really love the African bush and to me it is a whole different world, a whole different vibe, a whole different language and I can literally feel my soul recharging and my heart singing.  Our hosts were Melina and Andreas Liebenberg from Bateleur Eco Safari's and I cannot sing their praises enough.  Andreas is like a Professor Dumbledore of the bush, from his knowledge, his experience, his patience and teaching skills down to his obvious love for what he does. The assistant guide and tracker, Elias, was really amazing too!  

We tracked and found five magnificent rhino; made fires from scratch; made rope from sisal; sculpted with clay from a water hole and learnt so much about the magnificent trees, insects, birds and animals around us.  The stars at night, while sitting around the campfire were spectacular too along with the story of Orion and Scorpio.  We searched for Bark Scorpions with a UV light at night and found some Flat Rock Scorpions the next day and held them in our palms.  My girls washed themselves with the leaves of the Devil Thorn creeper (brilliant natural soap); kept insects away with Wild Grape Leaves; learnt which was the toilet paper bush and my eldest used the leaves of the Lead-wood tree to help with a sinus headache. We were all in our element; it was the perfect family break.

I think the magic for me was in experiencing just how miraculous nature is.  Whilst I love seeing the big animals and the magnificent leopard we were lucky enough to see, for me there were so many magical 'smaller' moments that equaled those of seeing the big animals.   One of them was seeing how a type of grass seed (I forget the name) plants itself. Andreas showed us how when the little stem gets wet, it starts twirling and winding and in doing so embeds the seed at the end of the stem into the soil!  I was totally enchanted!

Here are a few of the hundreds of photos I took (I was just so in love with this whole vibe!)

 Rhino spoor and after about 2 and half hours we found them 

 

Our classroom in the river bed ...

Making string

Making fire 

Our traveling fire

Getting the clay ready

Note the visitors in the background ...

Beautiful design on the underside of the Terrapin

Breakfast time

 

European roller having breakfast

Washing ourselves after a midnight feast! 

Of course, let us not forget the spectacular African sunsets!

I can highly recommend a few days in the Bush with the Bateleur Mobile Camp   They do corporates, families, children's groups from age 8 upwards, ... and what an enchanting getaway!  It will definitely go down as one of my top ten holidays EVER!