Our Homeschooling Journey

Last week I was invited to share a bit about our homeschooling journey with some of the new homeschooling parents and I put this together. I have had a couple of Mom’s approach me to say that it has been very helpful and encouraging and so I thought I would share it here along with some of my fav photos of some of our local trips and homeschooling moments. 

Here are some pointers which I feel would have been really useful for me when we started out in 2016.
The reasons we started homeschooling were multi fold, but mainly we wanted some real quality time with our kids. I felt that we were racing down someone else’s highway, following their norms and values, trying to keep up with it all and it was just not where we wanted to be. I also clearly remember chatting to a mom who’s daughter was head of sports at her school. The mom was telling me, with such pride, that her daughter had been so busy that day that she did not have time to eat her lunch. I still remember how uncomfortable I felt about that; it felt wrong that we were encouraging our kids (and adults) to be so busy and that that was the new norm. I did not want to go any further down that highway. There was so little delight in what we were doing. I wanted us to slow down, catch our breath and carve our own road with what felt more important and joyful to us. Mary Oliver’s line “Tell me what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” from her poem the ‘The Summer Day’ was ringing in my ears. We had also lost a couple of family members and friends in the previous years and I wanted something more from what we were doing with our lives.

When we first started, Tessa, my oldest was in grade 7 and her friends who were still at school were being piled with assignments, projects and tests. They were in complete
overwhelm and didn’t even have the time to get together. In spite of my reasons for homeschooling, it did initially make me panic as I was worried
that we were not doing enough work and that were in danger of falling behind!!! (Yes, it did feel dangerous to me.)
A friend of ours came to tea and I was telling him about this and he said, “Surely it’s about quality and not quantity.” The penny dropped! Another homeschooling mom also questioned me with “falling behind who? They are in primary school for goodness sake.” I remember her saying, “I am ‘behind’ my husband because I don’t know how to do his job, but he is ‘behind’ me, because he doesn’t have experience in what I do. So actually we are all ‘behind’ one another in so many things!” So that got me thinking and I decided that I would make sure that we kept up with our Maths, English and second language which was Afrikaans, in case they wanted to go back to main stream school. For the rest, we would see what appealed and felt interesting and joyful to us. I have to say though that this didn’t happen over night. It was a journey for all of us, slowly letting go of “should be” and immersing into what we enjoyed.
I also realised that my two children had very different learning styles and interests and what worked for the one did not suit the other. For example, Lauren, my youngest really did not enjoy the Cambridge English. It was too dry for her. Her whole body language changed when we started English each day and it felt like I was trying to draw blood from a stone! There was no ease in it. We switched to the ‘Good and the Beautiful’ program and her whole being came alive and she would ask to start the day with English. So don’t be hesitant to change curriculums and do different things with your kids. Each child is different, has different needs and learning should be joyful as much as possible.

So especially in the primary school years, I strongly encourage learning that is enjoyable, fun, stimulating and that does not involve pressure to perform, ie following a set curriculum
with tests and assignments. In my opinion and experience, it is not necessary. It sucks all the joy out of learning and induces so much unnecessary stress.

In addition to English, Maths and Afrikaans, we absolutely loved the “Footprints On Our Land” curriculum. We read all the stories (that made history come alive) and did road trips to some of those places (we have family in the Cape so that made it easier) and to this day that’s what we often talk about. The road trips (and other trips), what we learned along the way, the places we visited and the people we met. In fact, we met a woman in Prince Albert, who we did a ghost tour with, and both my girls ended up doing a year long creative writing course with her that they absolutely loved.

If I had to do it over again I would have started homeschooling sooner and done more of those trips even if it was short camping weekends in the Berg, the bush, etc. I have wonderful photographs of my hubby and my girls in their pj’s on the lounge floor, pouring over contour maps of the berg planning their hikes. There is so much real teaching just in that. Nature is phenomenal and offers so much more exciting learning than any textbook ever will! I remember a friend giving us a whole lesson on the life cycle of a dragon fly while swimming in a river in the Berg. That same friend took us to see the turtles hatching up near Bhanga Nek. Those memories and teachings are priceless and will stay with us forever.

So have fun along the way. Make it interesting for all of you. Plan trips and visits with your kids. Take a sketch book and pencils and go and sit with them in the hide in Mkuze, see what comes along and learn what you can from what arrives that day. The forest and boardwalk in Eshowe is magnificent, as is the Harold Johnson Nature reserve. The fish and sea life in the Chaka’s Rock tidal pool near Salt Cafe are beautiful to see and learn from. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Pack a picnic and go and explore. It’s all right here at our finger tips and these are the things we remember the most.
There are also so many amazing resources out there, but that said, in hindsight I would buy less of those resources. You really don’t need that much, especially when your kids are little. They learn so much through free play, art and nature. So bake, cook, allow them to have more free-play, play more games with them, go for walks, explore and have fun. I cannot recommend that enough.

The beauty with homeschooling too is that you can go at the pace that suits your child. You don’t have to stay within the confines and limits of the grade they are supposed to be in. Lauren started early with Singapore Maths and ended up doing grade eight work in grade seven. Not that you want to strive to do that as that puts pressure on your child. It just unfolded naturally. In her grade seven year, she also joined a small group that went to Tessa’s tutor once a week and Lauren absolutely loved her teaching style. She has so many amazing resources and so learning was fun and interesting for them and there was no waiting desperately for break to come around. They covered all kinds of things and Lauren told me last year that they had even covered something that is done in grade 9 science but it had come up completely naturally as they were delving into one of the topics. Isn’t that how learning should unfold, through exploration and interest?
What we didn’t do enough of though was get together with other homeschooling families. That said, we did travel a lot and there were also very few kids at the time we started homeschooling who were Tessa’s age, but that is not the case now and it is so supportive to hang out with parents and kids who are on this journey. There is so much to be said of community support, so reach out.

After 4 years at home, Lauren my youngest decided to go back to main stream school for high school. She loves hanging out with people all the time and she felt she wanted to go back and engage with friends all day! Break with mom no longer cut it. When we applied to the school we thought would most suit her, she had no reports of performance for four years and had never written an exam. The vice principal (and head of academics) was very concerned. I showed her our textbooks for Maths and English and a list of what we had done and worked with each year. She was impressed as she had assumed that we had done nothing. Lauren wrote their admission exams and she was offered a place and started in 2020. Sadly that is the year Covid hit us, so she did not really experience what she was looking for. However, despite never having done formal projects, tests and exams, she excelled last year. She was completely self driven and motivated and I had to remind her often that she is not defined by a test result. We were very proud of her efforts and motivation.
So how has she found school? She loves being with lots of kids her age (during term one and four when she was at school) but she does not enjoy the long hours and nor does she see the point of homework, let alone tests and exams. In fact, she found homework a complete waste of time and was quite annoyed that she still had homework to do “after having been at school for so many hours!” At the end of the year, she lost motivation after endless hours of revision for exams. She was so bored. That is what I am saying about sucking the joy out of learning, so in the early years, when they don’t need it, why do it?

Tessa, on the other has decided to continue with homeschooling. She loves the freedom it offers her, allowing her to work independently with her tutor and she sets her own time and pace. It’s right up her alley.

She wrote her first IGCSE exam in Nov 2019 (also after not having written exams for a four years) and she did extremely well. Covid unfortunately messed up her June 2020 exams but luckily a plan was made and then she really excelled in the Nov 2020 exams. Again, the motivation came from her. She is doing her A levels now in subjects that she absolutely loves. From my own experience in education and our homeschooling journey, I have realised the benefit of studying and delving into that which brings you joy because you are naturally drawn to it and so then the learning comes easier and flows better. I am always inspired by the quote by Howard Thurman, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive.”

So I hope that our story will help those of you who are just starting out on your homeschooling journey. It is an amazing journey, and like everything in life, has its pro’s and cons. Remember, there is no right or wrong, but only what is right for you and your family. Most importantly, have fun and enjoy the ride.