A Touch of Divinity delivered by Birds ...

I have a most unusual story to share. Actually, it shouldn’t be unusual, but I suppose it is for our everyday human mind; the one that often plays small, doubts and runs at a hundred miles an hour, leaving no space for grace.

Two weeks ago, I sat down on my yoga mat, about to start my practice, when I suddenly heard a crash. A bird had flown into our lounge glass-sliding door. I ran out to see if it was okay, as sometimes birds flying into a glass window are just stunned, need a few moments to catch their breath and then fly off again. Sadly, this beautiful Emerald spotted wood-dove had broken its neck and died a few moments later. I felt really devastated as I have a special love for birds. I’m by no means a birder; my connection with birds is somewhat different.

About ten years back, I bought a set a of bird cards by Jane Toerien and Joyce van Dobben http://www.birdcards.net/about-us/. Over the years, I have had the most amazing communication and insights through these bird cards. Sometimes, when I am feeling stuck, I search for guidance from them, by picking a card and reading the message. Other times, I get the messages delivered by a bird that arrives in my space, sometimes more than once over a couple of days, to ensure that I notice it. I then look up the particular bird in the cards to see what the message is that it carries and what it could mean for me at that time. It has been quite profound and I have, slowly over the years, learnt to trust and listen to those messages. However, when this bird smashed into our window and died, I felt really awful and didn’t want a bird to have to end its life in order to deliver its particular message to me. I was really thrown by it. I looked up the Dove card and the message was all about creating harmony when something is out of balance or alignment in one’s life; peace and hope for the future; that the sound of doves cooing has a natural harmonising effect on people and that people will naturally gravitate towards a place where Dove sound predominates, in order to unwind. It didn’t totally resonate with me, however, it all unfolded the next day.

Lots of change has been happening in our lives these past few months and most days we manage to work through the uncertainty and stress with the tools we have (meditation, yoga, forest walks, ocean swims, sunshine, essential oils, debriefing, kinesiology, coaching) but there have been a few days in the last three months where I have felt completely overwhelmed and it feels like a domino effect where it just starts up and hurtles away and I don’t know how to stop it. It is very foreign to me and I do believe that peri-menopausal hormones are at play for sure.

So this particular Wednesday was one of those days and by the afternoon, I did not know quite what to do with myself. Mark made me a cup of tea and I had such a strong urge to go and drink it in the forest on the estate where we live. The Emerald spotted wood dove has a particular call (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0z_NVhBHjs) and as I stepped onto the boardwalk, it was the first bird sound that I heard. I was overcome with emotion thinking about the dove from the day before. I slowly moved to a spot on the board walk, stood and quietly sipped my tea. A few moments later, a bird flew onto a branch about twenty metres from me and from where I was standing, it looked like an Emerald spotted wood dove and I wondered if it would make its call so that I could confirm this. That is exactly what it did! As I listened to it, I remembered the message from the bird card, in particular, how the sound of doves can have a natural harmonising effect on people. I was blown away, as in that moment the penny dropped and I got the message. All I need to do when I feel this off balance and spun out, is to take a three minute walk into our beautiful forest, be quiet, listen to the doves and unwind from the spinning, chaotic feelings that sometimes take hold. I came out of that forest in absolute awe.

When I relayed what had happened to my dear friend Angela Deutschmann, who introduced me to the cards, I also realised that as much as I see and hear doves all the time, I would never have looked to my bird cards for the message that the dove carries. So by smashing into our window, that beautiful dove delivered what I needed to hear. I was deeply moved and deeply grateful. I still however, felt awful about it dying and felt that that had been unnecessary; it could have just hit the window, been dazed and moved on.

A few days later, I looked to a bird card for some guidance around my mom who had been in hospital. I picked the turkey card, which I haven’t picked in years, and it is all about gratitude and

thanks-giving. Low and behold, the sentence, “Death is not an issue in the bird kingdom” stood out clear as a bell. Again, another direct message, which was also in line with some personal growth work I have been sitting with, around what it means to fully embrace both the human and divine aspects of ourselves.

In the synchronicity of it all, that same week, Joe Dispenza posted this: “When we master our emotions, we master our creations.” We have been working with this in our meditations, and I felt like I had been gifted with a personal tool by that beautiful dove on how to do just that. I am eternally grateful and no longer look at or hear a dove calling, in the same way.

Then, to take it to all to another level, that Sunday, I went on a walking meditation in another forest, with my special friend Donna, who is just as in love with birds and trees as I am. We went to our usual starting point; a bench by a little stream in a small clearing in the forest. We started the meditation with our eyes closed and hands on our hearts. When the initial introduction of the meditation was over, I opened my eyes and looked at Donna who quietly pointed at a branch about 2 metres away. There, sitting, looking at us, was a beautiful Emerald spotted wood dove. It lingered for a bit, flew down to the stream, drank some water and then casually flew off. I was speechless. For the next little while of our walking meditation, I was literally awestruck and in complete reverence of what had just happened. It felt deeply sacred.

One of my most beloved quotes, by Roald Dahl is, “Those who don’t believe in magic, will never find it,” and these synchronicities, these moments of sacredness in the sometimes crazy, messy and beautiful world we live in, provide me with such wonder, magic and joy. It’s about believing in them, making the time and space for them in our hearts and trusting deeply.

Here is a poem by Mary Oliver that expresses this all so beautifully...

The World I Live In

I have refused to live

locked in the orderly house of

reasons and proofs.

the world I live in and believe in is wider than that. And anyway,

whats wrong with Maybe?

You wouldn’t believe what once or twice I have seen. I’ll just

tell you this:

only if there are angels in your head will you

ever, possibly, see one.

Those angels to me are the beautiful birds that grace us with their magnificence everyday. How blessed are we?

 Our Homeschooling Journey

Last week I was invited to share a bit about our homeschooling journey with some of the new homeschooling parents and I put this together. I have had a couple of Mom’s approach me to say that it has been very helpful and encouraging and so I thought I would share it here along with some of my fav photos of some of our local trips and homeschooling moments. 

Here are some pointers which I feel would have been really useful for me when we started out in 2016.
The reasons we started homeschooling were multi fold, but mainly we wanted some real quality time with our kids. I felt that we were racing down someone else’s highway, following their norms and values, trying to keep up with it all and it was just not where we wanted to be. I also clearly remember chatting to a mom who’s daughter was head of sports at her school. The mom was telling me, with such pride, that her daughter had been so busy that day that she did not have time to eat her lunch. I still remember how uncomfortable I felt about that; it felt wrong that we were encouraging our kids (and adults) to be so busy and that that was the new norm. I did not want to go any further down that highway. There was so little delight in what we were doing. I wanted us to slow down, catch our breath and carve our own road with what felt more important and joyful to us. Mary Oliver’s line “Tell me what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” from her poem the ‘The Summer Day’ was ringing in my ears. We had also lost a couple of family members and friends in the previous years and I wanted something more from what we were doing with our lives.

When we first started, Tessa, my oldest was in grade 7 and her friends who were still at school were being piled with assignments, projects and tests. They were in complete
overwhelm and didn’t even have the time to get together. In spite of my reasons for homeschooling, it did initially make me panic as I was worried
that we were not doing enough work and that were in danger of falling behind!!! (Yes, it did feel dangerous to me.)
A friend of ours came to tea and I was telling him about this and he said, “Surely it’s about quality and not quantity.” The penny dropped! Another homeschooling mom also questioned me with “falling behind who? They are in primary school for goodness sake.” I remember her saying, “I am ‘behind’ my husband because I don’t know how to do his job, but he is ‘behind’ me, because he doesn’t have experience in what I do. So actually we are all ‘behind’ one another in so many things!” So that got me thinking and I decided that I would make sure that we kept up with our Maths, English and second language which was Afrikaans, in case they wanted to go back to main stream school. For the rest, we would see what appealed and felt interesting and joyful to us. I have to say though that this didn’t happen over night. It was a journey for all of us, slowly letting go of “should be” and immersing into what we enjoyed.
I also realised that my two children had very different learning styles and interests and what worked for the one did not suit the other. For example, Lauren, my youngest really did not enjoy the Cambridge English. It was too dry for her. Her whole body language changed when we started English each day and it felt like I was trying to draw blood from a stone! There was no ease in it. We switched to the ‘Good and the Beautiful’ program and her whole being came alive and she would ask to start the day with English. So don’t be hesitant to change curriculums and do different things with your kids. Each child is different, has different needs and learning should be joyful as much as possible.

So especially in the primary school years, I strongly encourage learning that is enjoyable, fun, stimulating and that does not involve pressure to perform, ie following a set curriculum
with tests and assignments. In my opinion and experience, it is not necessary. It sucks all the joy out of learning and induces so much unnecessary stress.

In addition to English, Maths and Afrikaans, we absolutely loved the “Footprints On Our Land” curriculum. We read all the stories (that made history come alive) and did road trips to some of those places (we have family in the Cape so that made it easier) and to this day that’s what we often talk about. The road trips (and other trips), what we learned along the way, the places we visited and the people we met. In fact, we met a woman in Prince Albert, who we did a ghost tour with, and both my girls ended up doing a year long creative writing course with her that they absolutely loved.

If I had to do it over again I would have started homeschooling sooner and done more of those trips even if it was short camping weekends in the Berg, the bush, etc. I have wonderful photographs of my hubby and my girls in their pj’s on the lounge floor, pouring over contour maps of the berg planning their hikes. There is so much real teaching just in that. Nature is phenomenal and offers so much more exciting learning than any textbook ever will! I remember a friend giving us a whole lesson on the life cycle of a dragon fly while swimming in a river in the Berg. That same friend took us to see the turtles hatching up near Bhanga Nek. Those memories and teachings are priceless and will stay with us forever.

So have fun along the way. Make it interesting for all of you. Plan trips and visits with your kids. Take a sketch book and pencils and go and sit with them in the hide in Mkuze, see what comes along and learn what you can from what arrives that day. The forest and boardwalk in Eshowe is magnificent, as is the Harold Johnson Nature reserve. The fish and sea life in the Chaka’s Rock tidal pool near Salt Cafe are beautiful to see and learn from. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Pack a picnic and go and explore. It’s all right here at our finger tips and these are the things we remember the most.
There are also so many amazing resources out there, but that said, in hindsight I would buy less of those resources. You really don’t need that much, especially when your kids are little. They learn so much through free play, art and nature. So bake, cook, allow them to have more free-play, play more games with them, go for walks, explore and have fun. I cannot recommend that enough.

The beauty with homeschooling too is that you can go at the pace that suits your child. You don’t have to stay within the confines and limits of the grade they are supposed to be in. Lauren started early with Singapore Maths and ended up doing grade eight work in grade seven. Not that you want to strive to do that as that puts pressure on your child. It just unfolded naturally. In her grade seven year, she also joined a small group that went to Tessa’s tutor once a week and Lauren absolutely loved her teaching style. She has so many amazing resources and so learning was fun and interesting for them and there was no waiting desperately for break to come around. They covered all kinds of things and Lauren told me last year that they had even covered something that is done in grade 9 science but it had come up completely naturally as they were delving into one of the topics. Isn’t that how learning should unfold, through exploration and interest?
What we didn’t do enough of though was get together with other homeschooling families. That said, we did travel a lot and there were also very few kids at the time we started homeschooling who were Tessa’s age, but that is not the case now and it is so supportive to hang out with parents and kids who are on this journey. There is so much to be said of community support, so reach out.

After 4 years at home, Lauren my youngest decided to go back to main stream school for high school. She loves hanging out with people all the time and she felt she wanted to go back and engage with friends all day! Break with mom no longer cut it. When we applied to the school we thought would most suit her, she had no reports of performance for four years and had never written an exam. The vice principal (and head of academics) was very concerned. I showed her our textbooks for Maths and English and a list of what we had done and worked with each year. She was impressed as she had assumed that we had done nothing. Lauren wrote their admission exams and she was offered a place and started in 2020. Sadly that is the year Covid hit us, so she did not really experience what she was looking for. However, despite never having done formal projects, tests and exams, she excelled last year. She was completely self driven and motivated and I had to remind her often that she is not defined by a test result. We were very proud of her efforts and motivation.
So how has she found school? She loves being with lots of kids her age (during term one and four when she was at school) but she does not enjoy the long hours and nor does she see the point of homework, let alone tests and exams. In fact, she found homework a complete waste of time and was quite annoyed that she still had homework to do “after having been at school for so many hours!” At the end of the year, she lost motivation after endless hours of revision for exams. She was so bored. That is what I am saying about sucking the joy out of learning, so in the early years, when they don’t need it, why do it?

Tessa, on the other has decided to continue with homeschooling. She loves the freedom it offers her, allowing her to work independently with her tutor and she sets her own time and pace. It’s right up her alley.

She wrote her first IGCSE exam in Nov 2019 (also after not having written exams for a four years) and she did extremely well. Covid unfortunately messed up her June 2020 exams but luckily a plan was made and then she really excelled in the Nov 2020 exams. Again, the motivation came from her. She is doing her A levels now in subjects that she absolutely loves. From my own experience in education and our homeschooling journey, I have realised the benefit of studying and delving into that which brings you joy because you are naturally drawn to it and so then the learning comes easier and flows better. I am always inspired by the quote by Howard Thurman, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive.”

So I hope that our story will help those of you who are just starting out on your homeschooling journey. It is an amazing journey, and like everything in life, has its pro’s and cons. Remember, there is no right or wrong, but only what is right for you and your family. Most importantly, have fun and enjoy the ride.

 

Labyrinth Gifts

I have had a few reminders of labyrinths in the last few days, the latest one during my morning meditation today, so I thought I would be brave and share a bit.  

But before, very briefly, the concept of a labyrinth dates back to about 2500 BC and is supposed to represent the shape of mother nature with the single access place reflecting the umbilical cord; giving birth to our soul. Unlike a maze where you can get lost and come to many a dead end, a labyrinth follows a pattern and so in removing choices in the path walked, the pattern allows for deep contemplation and opens up its walkers to their Divine inner wisdom.  

One of my most loved and sacred spaces that I was blessed enough to visit on numerous occasions, was the majestic labyrinth at Boondocks, near Barberton in Mpumalanga.  I went down a bit of a memory lane today with some melancholy and sadness as I would really love to visit and walk that labyrinth again.  It has an energy all of its own.  It is based on the classic medieval labyrinth in Charles Cathedral in France, which was built in 1204.  I have not been to the one in France and would one day really love to visit it.  I wonder if it will have the same effect on me as the one in Mpumalanga.  As I said, this labyrinth created by Stuart Jenson, who sadly passed away in 2016, is simply magical.  It lies under a magnificent canopy of trees, along a little stream and is frequented by exquisite forest birds and creatures and it also rests upon powerful ancient rocks which date back 3.5-billion years.  Stuart built it around the trees and as a result, the path is adapted, hence every now and again there is a beautiful bend that wasn’t in the original and a curve cradles a tree, allowing it to remain. This sacred space has helped me discover numerous insights and process many emotions in unique ways.  Some times I felt heavy and weighed down and at other times, I skipped and danced my whole way through the labyrinth, light as a feather.  I’ve walked it slowly and lain in the centre for what feels like hours, I’ve walked it alone, with close friends and with other retreaters.  Every time it has offered gifts, big and small.  Once, I could even smell the presence of my grandmother.  I was deeply moved.  Different areas seem to invite different reflections. It feels like the Divine is having a conversation with you through the labyrinth and all that surrounds it… the trees, the wind, the leaves, the birds, the stream, the stillness…  They all offer messages and reflections.  It is a deeply sacred space.

My whole family has been blessed to share in the majesty of this beautiful creation and I am very grateful for this.  It will always have a very special place in my heart.  Thank you Stuart, always for this gift.
The other message I received around labyrinths in the last few days is when I was pondering some of my patterning I have been working on for a long time and it still keeps cropping up in different ways.  I was feeling that I had surely dealt with this by now.  Then, I came across this paragraph in one of my readings from Angela Deutschmann (who introduced me to Boondocks, Ann Barr and Stuart Jenson.) It was perfect timing and I found it very comforting.   

“This is unquestionably your next step up. And it is also a next step up for a large group of people who have been steadily growing, steadily healing, steadily lifting out of shame and blame and victimhood.
There are natural steps along that road, you know. And you can’t rush them. And you can’t skip a few. Often the path, like a labyrinth, turns you back to where you think you’ve already been. Yes. The evolution of you is and will always be a mystery. You will never understand it completely. You are not meant to control it, or be in any way in charge of how and when and through what means your evolving occurs.  And you needn’t understand all of it or be in charge of your journey. There will always be unexpected events, both in your world and in yourself. And there will always be an invisible guiding hand underneath your path.”

I felt a deep sense of gratitude and it reminded me that being aware of our patterns is part of our unique journey of evolution.  

While the Boondocks labyrinth is no longer available for public visiting, I am finding huge joy, comfort, contemplation and Divine connection in the magnificent forests that surround us here on the North Coast.  They too, along with their charming creatures, convey beautiful messages of contemplation every time.  Even simply sitting in my garden in the morning sun and drinking a cup of tea invites these joyful moments. 

All we ever need to do is to is to face fully and tell the truth about where we are in each moment.

For Stuart's Memorial

Play

It has been ages since I have written on my blog and I am not entirely sure why.  There are some definite logical reasons, but there also seems to be a deeper one.  I think I have needed to do a bit of hibernating and after a body talk session, Clare Tucker, who I go to for body talk said, "I only want to see you again in January. Your body's telling me it just wants to be entertained."  Well with that permission, I have been doing exactly that.  I've been getting lost in a whole lot of fiction books and just watching movies.  It has been blissful and I think I really needed it.  I have come out my hibernation for a little bit while to sort out a whole lot of things for the Christmas holidays but am reveling in the fact that I have another month of just playing!  I ordered the following off Amazon and intend to immerse myself in them in the next few weeks.

During this hibernation, I also attended a process art workshop with Michelle McClunan in Hillcrest, and I absolutely loved it.  Our project for the day was "Me as a tree" and before we started on the painting, we did a bit of clay work which I found hugely pleasurable and beneficial.  Michelle shared with us the benefit of playing with clay when you are angry or sad and how when you are done with it you can just release that clay with all your stuff, back into the earth to be washed away with the next rains. I think that is a magical idea and a great way to teach children to deal with their anger too.  So I am off to get some sculpting clay soon.  I highly recommend it!

The process art was an amazing experience for me too and I had to learn let go of the outcome and work with the idea that it is about the process and not what it looks like when you are done. I had arrived with all these ideas in my head of creating a magnificent looking tree and was resistant and disappointed with the idea at first.  However, in reflecting at the end of the class, I realise my process was all about finding MY voice.  It was very powerful for me and I will be doing some more next year for sure!

Finely Tuned 

Today I drew a one of my magical bird cards (by Jane Toerien and Joyce van Dobben) while preparing for my section of our upcoming retreat in October.  It was the Fairy-Bluebird which I have never drawn before, and I share below the the essence of that message. I was deeply touched as it confirmed for me exactly what our retreat is all about ...

"The overlighting consciousness of the Fairy-Bluebird is here to give you strength and encouragement as you make claim to your individuality and step into your true power – the power of one who has learnt the wisdom of ‘know thyself’. Know who you are and, especially, know who you are not.  This is true wisdom, to be finely tuned enough to know what does and does not honour your soul."

Indulging in an Artist's Date

Julia Cameron in her book "The Artist's Way" encourages us to have a regular (once a week if possible) artist's date with ourselves, where we do something that we love or go somewhere on a date with ourselves, be it browsing through some lovely shops or an art gallery, watching a movie, going for a walk on the beach, going to a coffee shop and having something yummy to eat, taking a half an hour out in the garden with a cup of tea and a magazine, going to the local bookstore ... whatever it is that fills your tank. So last week Thursday, the same day I discovered that enchanting bookstore in the 13th century church, I took an entire day to do just that, in the magical city of Maastricht.  Here are some of the delights I found ...

Maastricht here I come!

Amazing tea variety in a local tea shop

How beautiful

Mint leaves served in glasses to make your own mint tea 

Different flavoured hot chocolate lollies for your hot chocolate drink in a true chocolaterie

Douwe Egberts Coffee Shop

Traditional Limburg's Tarts

Cheese anyone?

Candles in the famous Basilica of Our Lady - my granny's favourite church

But ofcourse!

Love this light 

Love the name!

Stolen Time

My friend Anne, shared this article with us a few days ago and it really resonated with me, because it feels like that is exactly what I do with my life.  I seem to be like a firefly flitting here and doing a bit there and then flitting somewhere else and doing a bit there and then being drawn back here and doing some more here and so it goes on, and yet when I look at my to-do-list at the end of the week, there is a lot I have ticked off, including my writing, journaling and blogging and it all seems to happen in those magical stolen moments!

And as Anne said, "to remember that we are part of a long line of brave wonderful women..."

Enjoy ... Stolen Time

Treat Yourself ...

Here is a little write-up about a retreat that I am running together with three really amazing women and I am super excited about it.  We hope to see you there ...

Trees, Confucius and Journaling

Last week I went to a ceramic exhibition that a friend of mine held on her beautiful farm in among the sugar cane fields. Driving along the dirt road, I stopped to admire a gorgeous Natal Fig tree.  I absolutely love trees and to me there is a magic about them.

This particular tree always makes me slow down on the way to the farm because it is just so big and majestic. I quickly stopped to take some photos in between passing cars, hoping not to get covered in dust as cars drove by on the dirt road.  I managed to get a few nice shots. 

Later that week, when doing the Lisa Sonora Root Journaling, the focus that day was taken from the quote by Confucius 

"Cultivate the root; the leaves and branches will take care of themselves."  


The prompts made me think about the tree I had photographed earlier that week and I could resonate with the trunk of the tree. It feels like they represent my roots at the moment, or rather my very cluttered life! The branches are completely entwined and some even look like they are strangling each other. While I love the look of it in the tree, in my life, it feels like they need some thinning out and some space.  I have been wanting to de-clutter many things in my home for a very long time, from cupboards, to paperwork to 
furniture and a whole lot of crockery that has been sent my way!  I however have been resisting for as long as I can remember because it feels daunting and I would much rather be blogging.  So the message has become very clear indeed. I need to make some time for space.  Space in my home and also some space to breathe and just be.

"Spacious" is also one of my core desired feelings that I discovered while doing Danielle LaPorte's  Desire Map and I think it is time I honored that a bit more.

I am so grateful to how that majestic dust-covered tree and the Root Journaling prompt pulled that message together for me. 

Thank you.

Open Hearts, Open Eyes, Love and Magic

One of the things I really enjoy about traveling is the interesting people you meet along the way. On our recent trip to Namibia, we were lucky enough to meet Koos Vervey, owner of Eupa Falls Camp.  What an amazing man and what an amazing story.  We were told about him by some fellow travelers when asking for some advice about our route, and I first spotted him, walking slowly around the camp, holding the hand of his little adopted grand-daughter. We got chatting and he asked us what line of work we (my hubby and I) were both in and I have to say that I was secretly thrilled that he was more interested in my women's circle groups than my hubby's flying. I am so used to everyone being fascinated with my husband's job, and Koos, being an ex-military man, I assumed would launch into a discussion about planes and what not.  So it was really refreshing and exciting for me when he asked me all about the groups.  When hearing about some of the community projects he is involved in, I understood why.  

I was particularly touched by the one project he is still involved in and he shared it with me over coffee one morning as the sun was rising over the falls.  Here is the story in Koos' own words 

FOLLOW UP ON NDJINA
My story about this lady starts more than 20 years ago when visiting chief Kapika at Omuramba. She was always kept away from visitors but from time to time one had a glimpse of this woman. As the years progressed and I became more familiar in the village I had a better view. Enquiries did not really bring clarity; vague answers were given and I knew all the time that something was not right.

But with time I could get closer and although I was told that she was bewitched I realized that it was not what it was. She was certainly not mad. One could not follow her words at all but through the filth I detected a spirit that was not mad. Even the chains and wire did not take away her inner self.

But i simply had no idea what was wrong and just left it alone. Do not mix with the deeper community things and especially not with the sister of the chief.

I knew that everybody in the village was afraid of her and that they all avoided her. I also knew that she was literally fed like a dog with a bit of food and water. In days of little she was the last one to get the scraps.

When my roads crossed with my old school mate of the seventies after 36 years I had no idea that freedom for Ndjina was not too far away. And when we went to visit chief Kapika in October 2012 I still could not envisage that drama was to come; that she would be freed and will be a real person again.

That Sunday the two of us did a lot of brain storming but none of us had any idea about what was to come. November came and we saw the chief. I was a bit worried but then he took the wind completely out of us. We could proceed. Berrie came back and 12 December 2102 he took the chains off. When Ndjina came out from behind the bush curtain and walked nearly straight I could not believe my eyes. The care takers dressed her. She was human again.

The last evening of 2012 saw the whole village gathered at Epupa Falls campsite for the yearly big party. One of the most dramatic moments of my life was minutes away. I took her onto the dance floor and for a few minutes that whole meeting came to their feet. Ndjina was reborn.

She is eating properly, sleeping on a mattress, doing walks with the care takers. Nobody runs away from m her any longer. Kaviruru is sleeping next to her. The children at the village are around her. Her own children are proud of her. The story has spread all over Kaoko. The spirit that I noticed all the time has come to life again.

To see this wonderful lady today is for us who know the background very special. She has status, she is a grand lady. Berrie is teaching his caretakers how to work with her.

Not too long ago I bumped into a famous sendeling who is in the area for many years. He knew about her but nothing else. After he heard the story he asked me what medicine we are giving her. LOVE AND PROPER CARE. THIS he could not believe.

And all the time we are learning. She is the first person out of the African bush with Alzheimer’s. The first in Africa. The first on my road. And i came to love this old woman. Through her so many more roads has opened for me; so much more deepness and richness in my life.

This lady in chains does not know what is happening; she has no idea what is too follow and for that matter none of us really know where the road of Ndjina will take us. But we know a few things.

She was very far from broken after 20 years in chains and now she is free. She has guts, tremendous inner energy to survive all this takes a very special person; maybe a replica of Uncle Nelson.

Her strength has and will enrich many people over the years to come.

Her image we pray will become the symbol for Africans with Alzheimer’s.

And she has given and will continue to give me a sense belonging; belonging to a very small minority of himba nomads.

Here's a little more from Koos' friend Berrie Holthauzen (who started the first Alzheimer's Home in Namibia) about the day Ndjina was set free ...


With the arrival of Koos we could finish setting up the tent. We could cut her chains, remove all the old straps and provided her a nice big bath. (I brought along about 100l of water in plastic drums). The three care workers (also trained by us) gave her a bath and new, clean materials to be used as a dress that I bought yesterday in a tin hut at Epupa for N$35 per meter. Four meters of fabric and 2 dresses – the most she’s ever had in the last 20 years. She even slept on the ground because the skin she use to sleep on got too dirty and should have been burned a long time ago.

FREE AT LAST, THANK God free at last…
clean and newly dressed after 20 years. 12/12/12  

12-12-12 has been one of the most beautiful days in my life even when I consider that I had a spade instead of my toilet, that I had to sleep on the backseat of my double cab truck, have to sit under a Mopani and type for dear life with a very quick fading battery, without any possibility of cell phone reception or a fridge with cold water or beer… I had the opportunity to see a person freed from chains. And I know that 12-12-12 only comes along every 100 years.

Doesn't this story just touch your heart?  

Koos also shared with us that at the staff party, Ndjina came up to him on the 'dance floor' and placed some of his favourite local berries into his shirt pocket.  It is moments like those he said, that bring magic to his life.  I also learned that along with Ndjina, they managed to free another woman, called Kaputu, from chains because of Alzheimers.  Apparently, through superstition and a lack of understanding, 'witch camps' and stoning of women with any form of dementia occur regularly in Nigeria, Ghana and Namibia.  It is so heartbreaking and such a tragedy, when as Koos said, all they need is "love and the same environment' in which they grew up in.  It really is just what the world needs, what we all need, "love."

This to me was all mind blowing, coming from an ex-military man and from a 'staunch right-wing upbringing' as he put it.  He spoke about 'opening your heart' and 'opening your eyes,' love and magic and so of course he was the hero of my trip to Namibia.  (Not that he needs to be a hero.) I love people's stories and the story of this man's journey in life and the meaning he has found in it, completely captivated me and so this blog post is dedicated to all the magical and loving work he has been doing in Namibia these many years.  It was an honor to meet you.

Thank you Koos

Here is a link to the Alzheimer's Home in Yacandonga if you would like to read more about it.

The Doorway Into Thanks

Roger Housden shared this beautiful poem in his weekly newsletter this week.  Paying attention and deep gratitude for the small wonders around us can transport us to another world.  

Praying
by Mary Oliver
 

It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

On our recent trip to Namibia, on the banks of the Kunene river, my husband, a true explorer by nature, started observing the stones and pebbles in the river bed during his walk, and this is what he discovered and shared with us  .... 

All the stones and pebbles are covered in a thin layer of grey dust, but as soon as you wash them in the water, their magical patterns and colours emerge.  We had such fun and definitely slipped into a world of magic and gratitude.

With Deep Gratitude, Madiba

What a powerful and inspiring quote, said by a man who lived a truly great life!

I listened to a reading last night from Angela Deutschmann's (Angela) Insights from the Edge about ambiguous signals that we send to the universe with regards to our desires. The reading mentions that "the two most salient questions of your whole life are who are you? and what do you really want?"   

Daniel LaPorte in her book Firestarters, also asks "what do you stand for?"

How many of us have thought really deeply about that and worked really deeply with that? I have certainly looked at those questions, but I know that in my (and those around me) busy life, I don't focus enough of my attention on living that.  I just end up fighting fires, getting exhausted and running on treadmills that are not taking me to where I really want to be and to living a life that is "less than we are capable of living."

The reading goes on to mention how vital it is to master the choices around what we do with the resources that are truly at our disposal, i.e. time, money, energy and attention.  "Everything  you do in life, or learn about or contribute to or become interested in, whatever it may be, should be about expanding, clarifying or enriching who we really are and what we really want."  We need to be really conscious of the messages we send to life if we are interested in receiving from life what we really want.

Most of us end up sending mixed signals to the universe by not backing up with our resources that which we truly desire, which can cause fatigue, complication, frustration and even disillusionment.

If we look at Madiba, there is no doubt that he gave any mixed signals to the universe about what he wanted and what his desires were.  The reading talks about how we will be able to tell those people who are not giving mixed signals as" there will be an energy about them, an aliveness."  Many people who have met Madiba talk about his presence and I am sure it is this "aliveness" that they can feel.  His life was aligned in declaring what he wanted from it and what he stood for.

Thank you Madiba for standing in your truth, believing in it whole-heartedly and for shining your light as a beacon for the rest of humanity.


Ngiyabonga Tata

Nature, Beauty, Gratitude

I have just watched this Ted Talk by Louie Schwartzberg, and his video narrated by David Steindl-Rast and was very touched.  With this year, having been a very hard one, some days, it is hard to be grateful and so it is wonderful to see a beautiful video like this and to be reminded of the many wonders we do have.  Enjoy. Nature, Beauty, Gratitude

Happy 10th Birthday Precious Girl

Today is my oldest daughter's 10th birthday and what a special age!!  (It is also her granny's 70th birthday and we will be celebrating them together in the gorgeous mother city.)

Having children has taught me so much, not just about parenting, but mainly about me; my fears, my needs, my beliefs, my ideas of right and wrong; and this gorgeous girl of mine, has brought so much for me to look at and work with and I am deeply grateful for how she has enriched my life and helped me to grow.

Thank you my beautiful